Ever felt like life is spinning out of control, no matter how hard you try to manage it? I’ve been feeling that way lately, especially as I go through my healing process. After a big surgery, I’ve had to face the fact that you can only control so much. This isn’t just about healing my body; it’s also about changing my mindset and finding peace during tough times. Join me as I share my journey and the lessons I’ve learned about letting go and focusing on what I can control.
Healing with Limitations
As you might recall, I recently had a hysterectomy, a major surgery with a long recovery. Let me tell you, managing this process has been a struggle. One of the biggest challenges? The inability to do certain things, the feeling of having no control.
A month out from surgery, I couldn’t do things I take for granted, like working out. For those who’ve heard my previous podcasts, you know my weight loss journey and my love for fitness – working out has always been a big part of my life. I had weight loss surgery and lost over 100 pounds, so staying active has been crucial for me. But post-surgery, I haven’t been able to lift weights, go to group fitness classes, or do any heavy lifting. This lack of control has made me feel frustrated and helpless.
The Frustration of Limited Capacity
This new reality was met with a wave of frustration, helplessness, and a feeling of being completely out of control. It wasn’t just the lack of workouts; it was the pain, the exhaustion, the need to rest when I craved activity. It was like my body was betraying me.
Here’s the thing: I’m wired to push through pain. I tell my clients this all the time, but this time, my body was saying “no.” It forced me to acknowledge the discomfort, something I often ignored.
Control is a Mindset, Not Reality: Shifting Mindset and Language
Through this experience, I realized that control – or the desire for it – is a mindset issue. I can’t control the pain, the energy levels, or even how quickly the medication works. It’s a process, not a switch I can flip.
Moreover, I’ve learned that the language we use around our abilities can limit us. Saying “I can’t” can create both emotional and physical barriers. It’s more accurate to say “I can’t do that right now” rather than “I can’t do that.” This distinction helps avoid creating a narrative that becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. I encourage you to challenge your language and mindset around what you can and cannot do.
Shifting Perspective and Giving Yourself Grace
Yes, I can’t work out the way I used to. But that doesn’t mean I can’t work out at all. For example, while I can’t lift heavy weights, I can still use five-pound weights and walk – these are options, even if they feel “boring” compared to my previous routine. Adjusting my activities to fit my current abilities is a way of giving myself grace.
The key is acknowledging both sides: the limitations and the progress. I can’t strength train, but I can walk further and faster than before surgery. It’s a win, even if it doesn’t feel like the victory lap I envisioned.
Remember: Healing is a journey, not a race. It’s okay to acknowledge the limitations and even grieve the loss of what you used to do. But don’t let that stop you from exploring the possibilities within your control.
Recognizing Your Agency
You likely have more control than you realize. Often, we don’t acknowledge this because things aren’t the way we want them to be. By unfolding our arms, unclenching our jaws, and lowering our shoulders, we can start to see what we can control. It’s not all or nothing; there are often middle ground and compromises that allow us to still achieve our goals, albeit in different ways.
Finding the Power Within Your Limits
You likely have more control than you realize. It’s okay if it’s not perfect because progress – not perfection – is the goal.
So, take a deep breath, unclench your jaw, and relax those shoulders. Focus on what you can control, and trust that your body is healing at its own pace.
Thanks for joining me on this journey of self-discovery. I look forward to sharing more musings with you next month!
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